Everything my heart craves

Colleen Elisabeth Chao is an editor and author. She enjoys dark-dark chocolate, side-splitting laughter, and half-read books piled bedside. She makes her home near Boise, Idaho, with her husband Eddie, their son Jeremy, and Willow the dog. 




Everything my heart craves

Everything my heart craves

Everything my heart craves

Before the foundations of the world were laid, you saw me and knew me and knew my days. You had already determined the era of history, down to the very environment, I would live in. You knew that I would enter a toxic world, a world riddled with crisis and cruelty—but a world of breathtaking beauty and wonder too. You set me in an age of indoor plumbing and technology, overcrowded cities and racial strife, advanced health care and incurable cancer.

You brought me into being though you knew I would be your enemy from the first day—born into sin, enslaved to Self, hating your ways. You knew my greatest suffering would come from within, not without.

You foresaw the brokenness and the beauty (of myself and my world), and you tenderly, tenaciously placed me in the thick of it—to write a story of surpassing goodness.

Even as you have allowed pain to have its wanton way with me these many years, even now as you have let rampant disease, racial division, and political upheaval change the shape of our days, I praise you for you have also—moreso

revealed the path of life to me (Psalm 16:11)
made my heart glad (16:9)
hemmed me in behind and before (139:5)
helped me, sustained my life (54:4)
rescued me from every trouble (54:7)
fulfilled your purpose for me (57:2)
upheld me and exalted me (18:35)
delighted in me (18:19)
hidden me in the shadow of your wings (17:8)
increased strength within me (138:3)
loosened my bonds (116:16)
turned your ear to me (116:2)
given me a confident heart that is not afraid of bad news (112:7)
supported me with your faithful love (94:18)
made me happy by disciplining and teaching me (94:12)
never left me nor abandoned me (94:14)
made me rejoice by what you have done (92:4)
welcomed me into your house (5:7)
been my refuge in times of trouble (9:9)
listened carefully to me (10:17)
seen my trouble and grief and taken it into your hands (10:14)
provided safety for me (12:5)
counseled me when my thoughts trouble me (16:7)
given me a beautiful inheritance (16:6)
satisfied me with your presence (17:15)
led me along the right paths (23:3)
guided me with your faithful love (26:3)

God, you are Love itself, and in you I have found everything my heart craves. Teach me to love you more.

(All quotes from the Book of Psalms, Christian Standard Bible)