August 4, 2024

Sweet friends!

I can’t believe it’s been over four months since my last update when I said, “I hope to write another update soon…” I know my silence has been worrisome, so I do want to be more faithful to communicate. But I’m still finding it hard to put this phase of things into words. As a stop-gap measure, I’m gonna copy-and-paste my July 29 Instagram update below. Strangely enough, right now it’s easier for me to write within the constraints of a word limit like Instagram’s… but I do hope to send a more heartfelt update soon: a sooner-than-four-months-from-now soon. 😉

Also, you know I love hearing how I can pray for you. I’m horrible at replying, but it brings me joy to pray!

With so much love,

~C

P.S. – THANK YOU for so faithfully praying and caring for Eddie and Jeremy. As many of you know, they bear every bit as much as I do on this journey, if not more. (Understandably, most people tend to rally around the cancer patient, while loved ones are left standing quietly on the periphery, a reality that’s broken my heart again and again.) Eddie just graciously agreed to share some of his own journey in my next update, which I’m so excited about. :))) All that to say, thank you for being the kind of people who care about all three of us. 😉 That means more to me than I can say.

~ ~ ~

AN UPDATE

••• My March PET scan confirmed cancer spreading in my lymph nodes. The cancer’s been in my ribs, hip, spine, chest wall, and lymph nodes. I’m experiencing increasing pain in three of those sites, which tells me it must be growing, but I won’t know the rate/extent of growth till my next scan. (I try to minimize the frequency of PET scans as the radioactive sugars measurably grow my metastases.)

••• My oncologist is continually amazed by the fact that although I’ve discontinued treatment, the cancer hasn’t killed me yet. He says they should study me. Ha! I just tell him, “I’m convinced God holds my days, and when it’s time for me to go Home, He’ll take me.” I believe that with all my heart.

••• I typically have very little energy each day. (E.g., when I hang out with close friends/family for a couple hours, make it to church, clean the house, etc., it can take a day or more to recover). My doctor’s explanation of my intense fatigue: “Your body is fighting hard!” (And it has been for many years!) Occasionally, God gifts me a week of extra energy, and BOY DO I LIVE IT UP, people. Annnd then I crash again. I have to be picky about how I spend my limited energy—and that’s rough for this people-loving, go-get-‘em girl!!

••• I don’t look like a cancer patient right now. My chia-pet hair is back (again!). I need to gain weight but I’m not chemo-emaciated, which is a win. My ailments are many but silent; even my exhaustion is difficult to detect because when I’m around people, I’m surfing a joy wave.

••• Some days are dark and heavy; some are full of light and laughter. The greatest challenge right now is to endure with joy. Yet joy keeps winning because Jesus is with me, and His love is better than life. I don’t just say that. I mean it with every fiber of my being. That truth has held me fast every step of this way.

••• Last but definitely not least: I’m eternally grateful for you all. Your prayers and encouragement are the greatest gifts to me (and E and J!). Thank you too for sharing your own stories of suffering with me. It means more than I can say. I love praying for you, even if I can’t message back.